The Princess Bride / Star Wars Crossover

Here is the transcription of the GENIUS crossover that is The Princess Bride / Star Wars (originally from Reddit):

“Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

“Never go up against a Mandalorian when death is on the line!” (immediately falls into Sarlacc pit)

“Bye, boys! Have fun storming the Death Star!”

“Wampas Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.”

“Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, on Hoth?!?”

“It just so happens that Obi-Wan here is only mostly dead.”

“Give us the access code.”
“What access code?”
“Chewie, tear his arms off.”
“Ohhh, you mean this access code!”

“I could give you my word as a Corellian….”
“No good. I’ve known too many Corellians.”

“Why can’t I see?”
“You’ve been mostly-frozen all day.”

That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “I know”, what he meant was, “I love you.”

“Why do you wear that black mask? Were you burned on Mustafar, or something like that?”
“Oh no, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”

“Luke doesn’t get eaten by the rancor at this time.”
“The rancor doesn’t get him. I’m explaining to you because you look nervous.”

“The Fowce is what bwings us togewer today. It suwwounds us, and penetwates us. It binds the gawaxy togevah.”

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